Little Laughs

Extremely corny, I know, but these came inside of Christmas crackers my family did over the break. We traditionally have crackers at most every Christmas dinner to pull apart with someone, a memory that I cherish. Maybe you will find them slightly amusing. :)

Q: What did one eye say to the other?

A: Between you and me there's something that smells.

Q: Why did the scarecrow win so many awards?

A: Because he was outstanding in his field.

Q: What kind of pants do clouds wear?

A: Thunderwear

Q: Which composer is the favourite among dogs?

A: Poochini

Q: What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa?

A: A Claustrophobic.

Q: Why did the rocket loose his job?

A: He was fired.

Q: What do you get if you cross a snowman and a vampire?

A: Frostbite

Q: Why are graveyards so noisy?

A: Because of all the coffin.

Q: What is orange and sounds like a parrot?

A: A carrot.

Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A: A fsh.

Q: Why did the tomato turn red?

A: It saw the salad dressing.

An Illustration of Grace

The following is an excerpt from "A Jewel in His Crown" by Priscilla Shirer. I recently finished reading this book. It gave me great insight into how God sees his daughters. I recommend reading it.

"A young woman was driving down the road, going very fast. In fact, she was speeding at 100 miles per hour in a 50-mile-an-hour zone. She was really in a hurry to get home from college for Christmas vacation and didn't even realize that she was traveling so fast. She didn't realize until she zoomed past a police car that was stationed on the side of the road. She held her breath as she looked in her rearview mirror hoping that the policeman had not noticed her. Much to her chagrin, he had.

She watched as the police car pulled away from the shoulder of the road and began to follow her. She watch as the red light flashed on. She hoped that the officer would pass her and take off after someone else, but she knew better. She pulled over.

The cop came to the window and issued her a ticket. He explained that she would have to pay $200 or spend 3 days in jail. She couldn't believe it! How could she miss Christmas by spending 3 days in jail? Problem was, she didn't have $200.

She found herself standing before a judge. ' Young lady,' he said, 'you have been cited for going 100 miles an hour in a 50 mile-an-hour zone. You can either pay $200 or spend 3 days in jail.'

The young lady looked up at the judge with tears running down her face, 'Sir, I'm so sorry but I don't have the money. And, sir, I don't want to spend 3 days in jail and miss Christmas with my family.'

The judge looked down at her for a moment, then explained that although he was sympathetic to her desire to be at home with her family, there were laws in that city, and they had to be enforced. Once again he declared that $200 would have to be paid or she would have to spend 3 nights in jail.

The young woman felt more desperate now because it seemed that the circumstances were hopeless. She started sobbing uncontrollably.

Then the judge did something that got everybody's attention. He stood up and laid down his gavel. He unzipped his robe and laid it across the back of his chair. He picked up a sport coat that was hanging on a rack on the wall and put it on. He walked down the stairs and stood next to the young girl.

The judge then reached in his pocket and pulled out a big wad of money. He counted out a certain amount, laid it on the bench, then walked back up the stairs. He took off his sport coat, hung it back on the rack, picked up his robe, and zipped it back on. He sat down, calmly picked up his gavel, hit the desk, and addressed the woman again.

'Young lady, you have been found guilty of going 100 miles an hour in a 50 mile-an-hour speed zone. You are guilty of breaking the law in our city, and that offense is punishable by your either paying $200 or spending 3 nights in jail. You claim that you don't have the money, but it looks like somebody else has paid it on your behalf. Since the fine has been paid, you may go.'

The young woman stared at the judge in disbelief. 'Oh, and one more thing,' he added with a smile. 'Have a merry Christmas with your family.'

When we were speeding down the road of sin and destruction, Satan pulled us over and was about to incarcerate us or make is pay a fine that we couldn't afford. God looked down, and in His unmerited favor paid the fine for us. He didn't use cash. He used His Son's blood. He offered us His only begotten Son as a means through which we could be sanctified and brought into close fellowship with Him. The fine that Jesus paid for us with His blood supersedes Satan's indictment. Grace has set us free from the law of sin and death. Will you accept His grace?

The young woman made it in time for Christmas. She had wonderful time with her family, and she was very careful to drive safely and slowly wherever she went. During the third week of her Christmas visit, she received a letter from the city in which she had received the ticket. The letter explained to her that the ticket she had gotten was not going on her record because the amount she had paid not only covered the cost of her ticket but also provided her with deferred adjudication. This meant that extra money had been spent, over and above the cost of the fine, to eradicate the citation from her driving record.

Not only had the judge paid $200 dollars to cover the cost of the ticket, he had also paid the extra amount necessary to get the ticket removed from her record so that it would not have any detrimental effect upon her.

That is exactly what Christ did when He bestowed His grace upon us. Grace is so much more than the pardoning of our sins. Grace is the extra payment that is made so that sin is no longer on our record in the sight of God. Grace means that sin no longer has any detrimental effect on our future. Jesus paid it all. Not only has He paid for our life in the hereafter, but also His grace is covering our existence in the here and now!"

Shirer, Priscilla Evans. A Jewel in His Crown: Rediscovering Your Value as a Woman of Excellence. Chicago [Ill.: Moody, 2003. 155-57. Print.

Improv based on "Opus 36"

I recently discovered “Opus 36” by Dustin O'Halloran and bought it on itunes. It is a beautiful song - one of many that he has composed. The tune was stuck in my head, so I sat down at the piano to see if I could improvise something similar.

Enjoy!

:)